Hello!!!

Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever reads my posts. But then I thought about it and it doesn't really matter. Really I just write them for me...but then on the other hand I really want people to read them. I blame my confusion on pregnancy...a little think I call baby brains.

I don't really know what I wanted to write about today. I don't really have anything on my mind. Just feel the need to write I guess. I just told my husband that I wanted to write a book. One that I think to myself no one would ever want to read. But a couple of years ago I had this really awesome dream...that I remember very vividly. But it's been my book idea. It's actually a great book idea. I know I am building you up to think that I am going to talk about what my dream was about...but I don't really want to give it away...just in case I ever to write the book. But know this...it was one of the most exciting and adventure filled dreams I have ever had. That is probably one of the reasons I actually remember it so well!

I had a very exhausting day...and when I think about it I really haven't done ANYTHING! Went to church, sang and played my guitar, played with the girls, ate lunch, took a nap, then had the break down part of the day with the girls. I LOVE my girls. But on days when after 4 is just crying and whining time...I go a bit crazy! They always seem to have it all figured out...it's like they plan it in their room before they get up in the morning. I see Jadelyn the oldest as the ring leader. "Ok guys. We all have to be in this together. 4 hits and we all just have a melt down. Maybe if we do this mommy and daddy with just do whatever we want them to." And to pretend that statement actually happened this morning...She would almost be right. I do want to cave in and sometimes I do. The girls go crazy and I let them watch a movie. They start crying and whining I give them a snack. But sometimes I see what I am doing and stop myself. I can't let them get away with this stuff! They are going to grow up spoiled brats if I let them have their way all the time. Today was ok...yesterday they had actually earned the movie they watched today. And I didn't break down and give them candy on demand. But I have to admit...I have my weak days. The days I am not proud of myself. But forget that...I am proud of myself today. I have to remember that I am a good mother...otherwise I kick myself all day long and all night long wondering what I am doing wrong. I am doing my best...loving my girls! Thank you to whoever read my post today! I appreciate it!