Thursday, August 20, 2009

My mind goes blank...

So I have these days when my mind just goes blank. I can't really think or put words together very well. Can't seem to get myself moving and get word done. My poor kids seem to run crazy on those days...and by the end of the day I feel so tired that I just want to cry. Today has been one of those days.

Now most of you may think that this is just due to the fact that I have just had a baby. I like to call it baby brains. And part of it could be that. But it seems I have had this problem since I was in high school, and this is what I think it is...

I didn't really take care of myself during high school. I was anorexic/bulimic for a lot of that time, worst was during my senior year. Not many people noticed...well maybe they did, but they never said anything. There were very few people who ever made comments. During this time I noticed my train of thoughts being very different. My head was very cloudy and it was hard for me to concentrate. Words were hard for me to put together. Then when I started recovering I noticed my head being less cloudy. Although I would still have my days of total cloudiness.

So that has been my day today. It wasn't sunny or partly was pure cloudiness. I have to say though one things I am so thankful for is a God who is much bigger than me and much bigger than my cloudiness. He gives me strength to get up and say "tomorrow is a new day!" I look forward to what tomorrow brings. His mercies are new every morning.

Oh on a very cute side note. My girls were so cute today. They kept coming up to me and giving me hugs and kisses...and Liliana would just stand there and look at me with her big blue eyes and then say "Mom I love you so much!" I wish you could hear how she says it cause it would just melt your heart. My girls are such a gift from God!

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